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As The Days Roll By

most of us want to know where all the time goes and how come we don’t have enough of it.  Most of us are forced to make choices about what will get done and what won’t.  Many of us will go to bed just as we woke up – feeling tired, anxious, stressed and sad that we will not or did not get “it all done”.

I spend a lot of time trying to figure it all out so that it can all get done, it feels a lot like a cat chasing it’s tail.  Last weekend I house sat with my daughter and my best friend for a weekend.  We got in a lot of relaxation, talking and catching up, talking about wedding plans and watching reality t.v.   We played with the dogs, visited with the cats and were entertained by the shenanigans around us.  We cleaned, straightened, dusted and organized.  We also managed to cook dinner, wash dishes, sweep floors and finish homework.  What was missing?  Stress, chaos, and things that did not get done.  Why?  Because this was not our life, this was a small “piece” of someone elses life.   We were only given the tasks of those things that “absolutely” had to be done.  Our priorities were set out for us. When the day was over we were happy, satisfied that we had not only achieved what we “absolutely” had to get done but we were able to do more than we had to do.  There was not lazy resting but needed resting. There was not the stress of running out of time or being interrupted but other priorities.

When I came home I was faced with “my” reality.  The list of all of “my” things that “absolutely” had to be done.  And then there was the list of ALL the things that “needed” to be done.  I felt all the chaos and stress return.

Throughout my life I have always heard “you just need to make it a priority”, “If it was a priority, you would get it done”.  I am sure we have all heard those sayings.  It is true, mostly.  But what we have not heard is the real saying “If it was priority you would find something ELSE to give up to get it done”.  That is the reality.  It is not that is is not important, it is just that it is not an “absolutely”.  We know what we can put off, we know how long we can put it off.  We know we have to go to work. We know the family has to eat, the dogs have to be fed, the children have to be taken to school and picked up.  Our lives are about juggling the “absolutes” and doing them when they are no longer able to be put off.  The laundry only HAS to be done when we are out of clean clothes, the dishes HAVE to be done when we have no more clean silverware or plates.  The bills HAVE to be paid before the late fees or shut off letters.  But until then, we can juggle our priorities and get the “absolute-lies” done.

We will put off those things that make us happy and give us pleasure because they are not a priority, they do not have to done.  The fact really is that we need them.  We need to do the things that give us pleasure and happiness.  We need to feel a sense of satisfaction  every single day.  Somehow we need to figure out how to feel accomplished at the end of our days without the looming list of all we did not manage to get done.  The fact is we do too much, expect too much and try to accomplish the impossible – we try to clear the list.

I am not fine with not getting my house clean, I am not okay with rushed dinners and dishes in the sink.  I realize that the  things  still on my list haunt me and I want to do them, I want to feel fulfillment and accomplishment.  I want to get “it all done”.  I need to make room for those things that give me pleasure without the guilt of giving up something else.  I have no answers, just the undying desire to find an answer.  I won’t give up…. as much as I want to surrender to the defeat.  Everyday is a struggle of balance, everyday I give something up.  I figure if enough days go by I will have given up enough to make room for a much smaller list consisting only of a much happier list.  Then maybe I will have time to have a cup of coffee and breathe, and think only about the moment and not about what I should have been doing instead.

Enjoy those things that make you happy and do it without the pressure of thinking you should be doing something else.  Think about the things that really  matter, who cares about the rest, right?  I tell myself this everyday, one day –   one day I will believe it.   🙂

 

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One Response to “As The Days Roll By”

  1. You KNOW the answer – now for practicing it! Excellent assessment!


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